There I was being carried along by culture, merely reacting to my experience, wallowing in my self-centered perspectives.  I had baggage, things that I had done.  And there were the hurts from the people around me who were also simply victims of their own impulses, acting out on me their pain and frustration.  I was forty years old, and becoming a grumpy old man.  I hated the lines at the grocery store and gas station.  I was impatient in traffic, always going somewhere yet never quite getting to that place of peace and contentment that I so desperately needed.  Without the blood of Christ on my doorposts I was being passed over by joy and blessings.

               The great Deliverer acts in mysterious ways.  He brings you to a point of desperation, then fills your need with hope.  Hope is the springboard, the start of something better.  Here, through commitment, you have to allow God to have his way in your life.  A new day is dawning where, through Christ, sense is made of your past and insight is given as to how you got here, and what next is needed to thrive as you move forward.  Love is at the center, Gods love for you, and you growing in ability to feel true affection for others.  This is joy: to be brought to the center.  In this is purpose.

               “Here I am.”  What an innocent willingness.  Young Samuel also uttered these words when confronted by God (1 Samuel 3: 4).  Abraham was of the same heart (Genesis 22: 1).  We should be so willing.  We should write these words on a card and place them on our mirror so that the first thing we see in the morning is an attitude that is receptive to God.

               Oh, the delight; to be open to whatever wonders God has in store.  Put aside your agenda, your list of duties, and just listen and respond.  Deny the impulse to accommodate self.  Lay aside all perceived purgatives and simply follow.  The cross we bare might not seem so heavy.  In fact, it might be a joy.  To love genuinely, show honor and respect, rejoice in hope, be patient, to persevere in prayer, to give generously, to show hospitality, is as much of a blessing as it is a command (Romans 12: 9-13).  Strange, how when we forsake self-interest, life abounds!  Conversely, when we grasp at this world’s distractions, and our own ideas about self-fulfillment, we experience a kind of inner barrenness, a spiritual death for sure.

               Moses’ response to God’s plan was “who am I” (Exodus 3: 11)?  Aware of our flaws, our shortcomings, our limitations, we all feel this way.  You might wonder, does my witness matter?  Does my perspective count for anything?  Do I have something different to add to the fray of opinions?  What can God possibly do with my experience?  But remember, God chooses the humble and weak to shame the proud.  God uses the simple to confound the wise.  “Christ crucified” is the mysterious message; “a stumbling block to (skeptics) and foolishness to (the learned)” (1 Corinthians 1: 23).

               “Be transformed!”  What a wonderful appeal.  To take what lacks energy and bring power and vitality; that is what we need.  It is humbling to think that we cannot do it apart from Christ.  But we can meditate on the word, commandeer a new perspective, and gain truth and insight.  Then we will proceed without doubt.  Then we will succeed.  Then we will be able to discern God’s will for our lives.

               It is not because we are particularly good that God loves us.  Our behavior isn’t better than the rest.  Anyone who has tried to live up to the Sermon on the Mount has felt failure and frustration.  Most people want to be good, want to get along in peace and harmony.  This does not separate us from the rest.  But in desperation, we have called out to God, and the promise is that we will be delivered.  So, it is God who is compassionate, who is tender and kind, who pities us in our floundering, who has made a way.  It’s a mystery that alludes reason; so simple, yet inconceivable.  To accept our creaturely state, to admit we have flaws, to understand the condition of all humanity, and simply submit; this is the balm that sooths.  God is great!  We are dependent.  This confession brings joy and peace.  Oh God, how unsearchable are your ways!

               Joseph had somehow maintained a soft heart.  Even after all that he had been through, he still loved and felt affection for his brothers.  Upon seeing them he was kind and gracious.  His heart wept not only because of the release of vindication, but because he had longed for his family all those many years.  It is remarkable how God had formed him, how he had given impetus, direction, perseverance, and above all, hope.  Now all was well.  The fulfillment of the promise was emotionally overwhelming.  He cried and hugged Benjamin. 

               So often our experiences in a troubled world jade us and make us calloused.  For some reason, most people do not have the necessary vision which keeps us tender.  People hurt us.  And when it happens enough, we turn our backs on those people that God has put into our lives.  It hurts to be disappointed.  And we take this out on those who surround us by being distant and cold, not knowing that, by doing so, we ultimately hurt ourselves.

As we strive to grow in our faith amidst a world of trouble, as God forms us into mature Christians from which we better reflect His goodness, maybe it would be salubrious to consider the implications of the story of Joseph.  As opposed to some philosophies that are founded on the principle of avoiding suffering, Christianity embraces suffering as a necessary step toward wholeness and healing.  We must remember that Christ suffered first as an example and consider ourselves as followers willing to respond in like fashion for the betterment of others.  Afterall, it’s not only about us, but about the development of a community where people share responsibilities as we work toward a respectful and just environment where peace abides.  If you are suffering today, take heart: it is going somewhere good.  God is leading you to a spacious place where you can breathe in the surrounding beauty and marvel at how He has blessed you abundantly.

               The story of Joseph is rooted in the ancestral line of Abraham, a man who never waivered in his faith despite circumstances, who believed in a God who could bring something out of nothing, who walked by faith rather than site.  Joseph must have internalized this posture, this attitude, and taken it on as his own.  God then planted a bud of hope in his heart through a dream where honor was promised and direction was set.  God, knowing how the brothers would respond, started things in motion.  Through their evil good would come.  Out of the crucible of trial, blessings would prevail and the line of Abraham would be provided for, sustained, and propelled forward.

               Maybe Jacob felt regret.  Maybe he cringed in the night as he viewed his past through the lens of contrition.  Many times, he had not acted in an above-board manor.  Among these instances, he had leveraged Esau’s birthright and even commandeered his blessing.  Moreover, his questionable behavior was not confined to the distant past.  In an interplay of wits and cunning, while living by the world’s standards, he had swindled his future father-in-law, Labon, out of a wealth of riches, only to move callously on.  He often got what he wanted, but at the expense of a bad conscience and, now, a confrontation with his estranged brother.  Consequences loomed large in the still of the night.  Jacob was beside himself, clinging to futile acts of desperation in an attempt to protect his family.

               Have you been there?  Funny, how our giants tower above us in the solitude after midnight.  We lie awake in bed, tossing and turning, maybe sweating a bit, imagining the worst.  Here, we meet God.  Humbled by impotence, filled with remorse, we confess our dependence.  We pray that the judge is merciful.  We are helpless.

               As fledgling Christians, we aren’t much good.  Sure, we want to be better.  Our superficial gestures attest to that.  But what about something deep and eternal, something substantial and real.  If you are just going through the motions, be encouraged.  Don’t give up.  Learn from your God given experiences.  Be malleable by casting off fear, doubt, and shame.  Be humble and respectful.  Be kind and full of grace.  Then cherish love which presents itself as affection.  And grow into it.

               Understand that God intends personal transformation for you.  He has given you the desire that comes from faith.  He instills in all of us the ability to learn.  He knows your strengths and weaknesses and builds from that.  God sets us up to succeed.  He wins our victories and uses setbacks as springboards to something better.  That is how Paul can affirm that in all things God works to the good for those who believe (Romans 8: 28).  He shares our joy when it is centered on him.  And when times are tough, he interprets our groanings.  The Holy Spirit pleas for us.  And Jesus intercedes for us.  We have everything we need to come out on top. 

               Protected, tenderly nurtured, provided for, and sustained; God is above all!  He searches you and knows your tendencies, strengths and weaknesses, and deep-seated motivations.  He knows your thoughts.  He knows everything that led to this moment, and he knows how you will respond.  He is well acquainted with your perceptions, your presuppositions, and your experiences.  All that makes you who you are is in his hands.  He has been molding you, fine-tuning you for success.  He earnestly cares for you, and is making a way.

               You are held by the promise.  And the promise will come to fruition; not by you, but by God’s mighty strength.  God is true to his word, not for you alone, but for his namesake.  He is glorified by his character, something we learn to be familiar with, something that simply is because it is, and we reside in awe and appreciation of his splendor.  The great “I Am” stands before us, the faithful one who causes and creates.

               Is the condition of the soil prescriptive or descriptive, “ought” or “is?”  Is it an imperative?  Certainly, we are responsible for cultivation.  We need to self-examine.  We are responsible for obedience.  We have some part in molding our perspectives and finding truth.  Still, God is above all.  Had he not set us free from our settled views, our learned demeanor, our attitude and tendencies, we would be lost.  It’s a bit of a miracle how we found our way to Christ.  Once there, we can take this parable as an incentive to stay on track.

               We have already avoided the condition of the seed on the path.  By evidence of our faith, we have passed the first hurtle.  We can only feel bad for people whose perspective closes that door.  Still, we live lives of hope knowing God can create something out of nothing.  By walking according to the spirit, we have joy and vitality.  We have compassion and grace.  Maybe our flowering heads, our fruit, will draw some lost souls to the realization that they want to be, at the very least, open to this attractive dimension.  Waiting, we abide with awe and humility.

               I do not think Paul, here, is admitting that sin runs rampant in his life.  I also do not think that he is shirking responsibility.  Rather, he is observing astutely the obsessive- compulsive nature of sin.  For sure, we have a conscience which is in agreement with God’s will.  We can reason clearly in our good moments for the better alternative, in any given situation.  But our emotions tend to obscure things with their own insistences and motivations. 

               Emotions are important.  When in line with God’s will they drive us to the good and they affirm the finer points of life.  For instance, when we have a sense of peace and wellbeing, joy through humility, we clearly see that God is good.  We know that love and harmony are preferred because the experience that they engender is emotionally satisfying.  The trouble comes when we are locked into the “ought to” perspective of the law which separates us from the fountain of life and causes a sort of compulsion.  Here, the “shouldn’t” gains momentum and draws to itself an emotional attraction creating a tendency to act on impulse.  Fear of making a mistake intensifies the experience, and we find in our members a battle of sorts causing anxiety and discord.  In a sense, we have a divided mind, and in such a state we cannot conceive a positive outcome or expect anything good.

               Fear, doubt, shame, anger, desire, envy, and greed; these are powerful emotions which impel us to act in regretful ways.  They bind us and back us into a corner from which we feel compelled to react.  They defy reason, welling up from deep within causing a reflex of sorts.  If we allow, they become the biggest part of us, as if we are their slaves, as if we do not have the ability to choose a better course.  Emanating out of our deeply seated personalities, they are conditions to a multifaceted dilemma.

               We see the result of acting on impulse best in others; those unattractive behaviors which repel.    We say things like “what were they thinking?” because from the outward standpoint of emotionless reason the consequence is obvious.  But we are not emotionless, hence we too react sometimes in equally harmful ways. This interplay weaves the fabric of life and can become the foundation of relationship.  It is “the” struggle that we humans are commonly engaged in, almost without thinking.  It embodies the core of our trials, causing us to wonder, in our better moments, how things could be if everyone simply took a time out while considering the “other,” and reflect calmly on the equitable best alternative. 

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.  And even the hairs of your head are all counted.  So do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows.”

               Like Hagar and her son Ishmael in the wilderness without water, do you feel distant from the main story, like a secondary character who is discarded by whim?  Does God seem distant leaving you to chase after the rationales of your own imagination?  Do you feel abandoned, living by the world’s standards under your own power?  Do God’s promises seem far off instilling a sense of isolation?

               You matter.  What you do matters.  Your individual story as a witness to Christ Jesus matters.  You are unique: special in God’s eyes.  Like Hagar and Ishmael, as long as you have a name, you are protected by God’s benevolence.  Only you can reach those brought to you by providence.  You are loved and valued.

“When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”

               We would be lost had God not revealed himself in Christ Jesus.  We would be floundering, groping around in the dark.  Christ looks upon our helplessness as we pursue joy and a sense of wellbeing and has compassion.  Only he knows the way and the truth and the life.  It is not intuitive to us.  We are inclined toward legalistic efforts which only produce pride, judgement, and disunity.  Jesus loves us, and wants better for us.  His love is tender, gentle, and gracious.  He intimates ever so earnestly a better way.

“I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you, and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.”

               As foundational as the story of Abram, God’s intent was always that we would become a blessing to others.  God comforts, so that we can give comfort.  God grants peace, so that we will become an attractive aroma.  God instills joy, so that we might impart joy.  God blesses us with vitality and strength, so that we might have energy to love.  God gives grace, so that we might be gracious.  God guides us into success, so that we, from experience, can lead others.  Our story, our witness, is meant to allure, to demonstrate God’s goodness.  In that is direction and purpose.  In that is meaning.

“God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good.”

               In a storm, thunder and lightning rule the heavens demonstrating God’s power and reach, creating in us fear and wonder.  We get only a sense of God’s pervasive majesty, a sense of the marvel of creation, and we are left awe stricken.  Who can imagine the all-encompassing creative force that lies behind everything?  We are at a loss for words and concepts that adequately convey God’s omnipotence.  We can only humbly submit this far-reaching love.

               “1 When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. 2 Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. 3 They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. 4 All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.

5 Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. 6 When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard their own language being spoken. 7 Utterly amazed, they asked: ‘Aren’t all these who are speaking Galileans? 8 Then how is it that each of us hears them in our native language?’”

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.”

               Humility is appropriate.  When one contemplates our small place in the world, in the history of humankind against the enormity of God in his perfect judgement, we are reduced to speechlessness.  Consider creation: its complexities, its intricacies, its interconnectedness, and its attention to detail, wrought with purpose, in all of its grander and minutia.  God spoke this into existence.  He provides.  He sustains.  He makes a way.  Life itself, what it takes to carry this forth, is all in his hands.  That this force is also good, as confirmed in our innermost beings, is a reality to marvel at.  That he cares for individuals so that we can cast our anxieties onto him is immensely reassuring.  Yes, this God is different.

We see it in the eyes of some of the people we minister to: anguish, dismay.  They are tired at the onset of another day, another hour, another minute, quietly baring the tedious burden of dismal prospects.  They feel isolated and alone, but they do not complain.  Though they are in our midst, all around us, they suffer in personal exile having been convinced by the adversary that they are worthless, that life is meaningless.  Had we not been paying attention we might have missed this.  But we are paying attention, and we see them, their souls and spirits crying out in pain, and our hearts go out to them.

When we look out at the world, we take in information without even thinking about it.  In a millisecond, our minds sort, distinguish, and file stimulation into an attitude which we carry into our day.

Can you make yourself feel genuine love? Is your heart tender enough to experience true affection? God has put in each of us the drive towards feelings of wellbeing. We are all on a journey toward wholeness and holiness. We know that Peter’s instruction is good, because, experientially, it feels wonderful to love. This is what our souls yearn for: comradery, a sense of belonging, to feel unity in community, to share.