Come (Romans 7: 15-25a)
“I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. But in fact, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me.
“So, I find it to be a law that when I want to do what is good, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind, making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
I do not think Paul, here, is admitting that sin runs rampant in his life. I also do not think that he is shirking responsibility. Rather, he is observing astutely the obsessive- compulsive nature of sin. For sure, we have a conscience which is in agreement with God’s will. We can reason clearly in our good moments for the better alternative, in any given situation. But our emotions tend to obscure things with their own insistences and motivations.
Emotions are important. When in line with God’s will they drive us to the good and they affirm the finer points of life. For instance, when we have a sense of peace and wellbeing, joy through humility, we clearly see that God is good. We know that love and harmony are preferred because the experience that they engender is emotionally satisfying. The trouble comes when we are locked into the “ought to” perspective of the law which separates us from the fountain of life and causes a sort of compulsion. Here, the “shouldn’t” gains momentum and draws to itself an emotional attraction creating a tendency to act on impulse. Fear of making a mistake intensifies the experience, and we find in our members a battle of sorts causing anxiety and discord. In a sense, we have a divided mind, and in such a state we cannot conceive a positive outcome or expect anything good.
But Christ has the power to unify our minds, to make us one, to create wholeness and healing. Relieved from the burden of “ought” with its judgements and consequences we are free to act in accordance with love. Christ’s grace defuses our inner turmoil making choice a real availability maybe for the first time. First, we feel relief in knowing that we don’t have to earn anything, that our value is tethered tightly to God’s benevolence. Then we step confidently, assured that blessings come to those who wait. We clearly see the good and act in accordance with it. This ability to discern grows more persistent with every waking moment.
Of course, we don’t deserve such grace; a fact that makes it all the more remarkable. This gives us humility, which is the necessary component of the victory to be won. Yet, none of this is possible apart from Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit. It is He who delivers us, who provides for us, who sustains us throughout. Peace and feelings of wellbeing are the result. These, obtained once, will be found again and again in increasing measures. A mature Christian walks steadily, a sustained movement in God’ direction. In the end, God is glorified in the demonstrable superiority of such a life. To magnify the way and the truth and the life, the most excellent way, even imperfectly, is the greatest of blessings.
For anyone struggling to make good choices, struggling to experience LIFE the way Christ wants it for you, He calls: “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11: 28-30). He relieves us of the compulsive tedium of outward religious observances and promises something deeper and more satisfying. His yoke is easy, not like effortless, but well suited to your life experiences, attributes, tendencies, weaknesses and strengths, and understanding; in essence, everything that makes you unique. It’s a deeply personal invitation from the One who knows you intimately. He can smooth your edges and make you shine. He can give you vitality, joy, and hope.
People say that if you like what you do it isn’t work. Learn to like fulfilling your God given job of loving, respecting, showing kindness and gentleness and grace. If you like it, you will learn to be good at it. And then you will experience communal harmony with inner peace (Shalom) the way God has always intended. You will drink from the spring of joy and feel nourished. You will not just survive but thrive!